I vividly remember, watching one of the greatest Hollywood movies, The Wolf of Wall Street starring Leonardo DiCaprio. One of the turning points of the movie was the protagonist's wife crying hysterically feeling betrayed. The man suddenly becomes rich and powerful and decides to leave her at the tip of a hat. The reason being, now he has the financial ability to pursue a younger more beautiful trophy woman whom he can flaunt around.
Now that brings us to a complaint that men have, that women are gold diggers. Why would women believe today that we are supposed to help our man in his struggling time when we are seeing this reality around? Once the man becomes rich, he won’t be with the same woman. He will run behind or search for a more attractive and younger woman that he could not afford earlier. No matter how many years they sacrifice to help, support, and motivate him in his struggles, he is always thinking of how can I bag a better woman.
I also remember having a conversation with a male friend. We were sitting in a cafe and a beautiful girl was passing by and he said, " Oh this girl, she is quite beautiful and seems out of my league. Do you think I can bag such a girl? I laughed and asked him, "Is that all you aim for in life? How to hop on from one woman to another?
Are men in constant need to prove to other men how better I'm getting at this game? Leveling up by measuring it through what kind of a woman they are successfully able to manipulate. So when today’s woman sees this, all she understands is that men perceive women as a parameter to prove their masculinity in comparison with other males. How is this going to affect today’s women? When women get the tag of being a golddigger why shouldn’t they be one if they know that one fine day after the struggles, they’re going to be dropped in a minute for no fault of their own. Just because they’re not fitting the parameters of their man’s success or growth anymore.
Women are obviously going to start looking at men who are struggling and not yet successful as a doomed future. Not because they don’t want to support the man but because they are constantly in fear of wasting their life's precious years. Investing herself emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically in a person who can drop them as soon as he gets successful seems dreadful. The only choices women have are searching for men who have already reached a certain point of stability or success and are still choosing them. Or someone who has stopped growing and has no potential or scope of growing and so cannot afford another woman. This hardly seems a choice. If you know what I mean.
I was talking to one of my staff members who comes from a very low financial background and I happened to ask him what if you got really rich tomorrow. What would you want to change about your life? He said "People like me hardly get to live a life for ourselves, I and my wife work hard every day to fend for our children. If I ever get rich I will do all the wrong things that the rich people do." I did not ask him what that meant.
This reminded me of a brilliant Indian movie Tumbbad. It shows another male psyche, where a man from a humble background, finds a treasure. When gold starts pouring into their house, not just the man, but his juvenile son too desires the pleasure of having multiple women. They both practice adultery, illegitimate relations, and alcohol consumption in front of their wife and mother respectively. Is this all that is hidden in most men's desire deep down? No matter the class, no matter the financial status, no matter the background and no matter the age.
Doesn’t that show a severe deep insecurity that this breed has? Something that can never be fulfilled, something that will always be growing. No matter who they have in their life they will always be searching for something else.
This wave of alpha males after the Animal movie is quite in the limelight. In one of the interviews, actor Kunal Khemu says, We choose the easy things. Men today are trying to be selective alpha, and don't want to put in the hard work. Why selective? Do the entire thing."
Some men have interpreted the term Alpha Male as an act of beating women, cheating on wives, being violent, narcissistic, and dominating. Doesn't, an alpha male mean to protect your woman, parents, and children? Respecting not just the woman you like but all other women at the workplace or in a social circle.
Unfortunately, some of the men I have come across, try to be an alpha male just in front of the women or the weaker people in their life. But once they go out of the house and face a bigger alpha male, their ego fizzles. Though I’m not generalizing, and I do believe there are a lot of men above this superficial idea and understand an alpha male responsibility.
I have also read of men who have moved mountains for their women. I have also read about men who have liberated women from toxic masculinity, who stopped the sati tradition, and started the girl child education movement. I have also seen men who have given their lives for the country and the betterment of the society. So understand, that this is not something against men. This is only about understanding the disturbing alpha wave and how deeply rooted it is, in a majority of men.
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