Boganvel

L ast week I was watching this fun series, Masaba Masaba . Apart from being a superb tale about a single parent and a biracial love child, it had a lot of unique concepts. In situations of fear and stress as well as achievements, there is often a small girl with the protagonist, which is her inner child. It was a beautiful way to show her vulnerability and childhood trauma. I could relate to the concept, in fact, a lot of people with an abnormal or painful childhood must have related to it. Especially children who were abandoned by a parent or both parents. Such children actually never grow up, yet on the contrary, become extremely mature before their age. As a result, there is always this child who is searching for someone in every person. And an adult who doesn’t want anyone and pushes away every person. So there are two different people in the same body and mind. Sometimes the adult consoles and pampers the child. Sometimes the child acts stronger and encourages the adult. As the ad...

Her mind is shaped to be weak from childhood , she cannot handle it, as power is bad, and weak is good. She feels powerful the moment she has control over her life,  but to feel the same, he has to control his daughter, sister, mother, and wife. The only way he thinks he can do it is by oppressing her.  Oppress her? Why? So that she doesn't think of doing the same things that he is allowed and proud to do. She is not weak, she is attached by a relation, being tolerant, and  more submissive to the demands during the formation. She becomes more caring and understanding to protect her fears,  to not drift away or break something that she has built over the years. She's blind to the abuse and scars for the promises,  that tomorrow he will apply love to those bruises. She takes the blame for his mistakes,  in the hope that one day he will realize her sacrifices. And with every sacrifice, he puts her on a pedestal,  so that she continues to put herself last ...

  My dependence was a barrier, a barrier created by my own mind.  A nd even to break this barrier, I was dependent on others to intertwine. My mind kept erecting walls with each bad experience.  And the impossibility of breaking this growing prison made me furious. Maybe my imagination or hopefulness, but the walls appeared transparent.  And the unbelievable things that might come my way were quite apparent. But my so-called well-wishers were bogging me down in the name of homeliness.  And dismantling my confidence, inculcating the fear of loneliness. For years I kept staring at the walls, hoping to me someone will seek out.  Gradually allowing myself to carve some windows to peek out. And through one of the windows, I felt the beach - humid and warm.  Along came a whisper, it's just a breeze outside not a storm. The storm was inside me, holding me back, keeping me trembling.  And just when that hit me, all walls came down crumbling. The windows w...

W hen a baby completes its time in the womb and is ready to step into the world, the umbilical cord is cut off. This makes it an individual entity, no longer attached to another individual through a cord.  Most of us, even in our adulthood are still tangled in a cord. The cord of comfort that keeps us wrapped around our traumas. The trauma that we sometimes use to feel better about ourselves. We stress too much on the feeling of being a survivor of the cruelty done by people who had power over us.  Not demeaning the severity of the suffering, but we need to realize an alarming fact. Even after the actual suffering is long over most of us keep wasting precious years of our lives reliving the trauma in our minds. We make our sufferings our only identity. Just like the cows ruminate - they swallow, un-swallow, re-chew, and re-swallow their food. In the same way, we keep chewing our cud, wallowing in every incident that affected us deeply.  We recreate those situations in our...