Boganvel

Though Ranbir Kpoor's new movie has fired the Alpha  Male  discussions, I think this topic has always been hot among women. Obviously, they have been at the receiving end. No-no, this blog is not a feminist rant at all. It is in fact trying to gauge the depth of a man.  When I saw the video clip below I did find it funny but also a little familiar. When men run out of all answers, they casually throw the excuse - "Men are not wired to be faithful." I don’t understand men (in their own head) glorifying cheating on a woman. Does that make them feel more masculine more alpha? Having multiple women in life or being able to get away with abusing or manipulating a woman using money, power, or authority. Is that being the new alpha?   I vividly remember, watching one of the greatest Hollywood movies, The Wolf of Wall Street starring Leonardo DiCaprio . One of the turning points of the movie was the protagonist's wife crying hysterically feeling betrayed. The man su...

For the longest time, I was on a dreadful journey of de-addiction of some prominent poisons, one is sugar and the others are a few toxic connections! It sure has been a long and exhausting roller-coaster ride of insulin and emotions…   These poisons are interlinked and bring with them a hideous dependency, Crawling out of this ugly web is nearly impossible for one with a needy tendency   The toxic offenders often kept me hooked with false rewards for my loyalty,  Well, I'm amazed at how long it took me to drag myself out of this cruelty   These poisons enslave you with an unneeded high, throwing you far from the CALM! The poisons wear a veil of sweetness, covering their greed and sham   The overconsumption of the poisons had resulted in my ugly and shapeless appearance! It sucked the joy, beauty, excitement, and novelty out of every wonderful experience!   Rejecting the illusionary satisfactions, the mental immune cycle might come on track, Let me go sugar-...

L ast week I was watching this fun series, Masaba Masaba . Apart from being a superb tale about a single parent and a biracial love child, it had a lot of unique concepts. In situations of fear and stress as well as achievements, there is often a small girl with the protagonist, which is her inner child. It was a beautiful way to show her vulnerability and childhood trauma. I could relate to the concept, in fact, a lot of people with an abnormal or painful childhood must have related to it. Especially children who were abandoned by a parent or both parents. Such children actually never grow up, yet on the contrary, become extremely mature before their age. As a result, there is always this child who is searching for someone in every person. And an adult who doesn’t want anyone and pushes away every person. So there are two different people in the same body and mind. Sometimes the adult consoles and pampers the child. Sometimes the child acts stronger and encourages the adult. As the ad...

Her mind is shaped to be weak from childhood , she cannot handle it, as power is bad, and weak is good. She feels powerful the moment she has control over her life,  but to feel the same, he has to control his daughter, sister, mother, and wife. The only way he thinks he can do it is by oppressing her.  Oppress her? Why? So that she doesn't think of doing the same things that he is allowed and proud to do. She is not weak, she is attached by a relation, being tolerant, and  more submissive to the demands during the formation. She becomes more caring and understanding to protect her fears,  to not drift away or break something that she has built over the years. She's blind to the abuse and scars for the promises,  that tomorrow he will apply love to those bruises. She takes the blame for his mistakes,  in the hope that one day he will realize her sacrifices. And with every sacrifice, he puts her on a pedestal,  so that she continues to put herself last ...

  My dependence was a barrier, a barrier created by my own mind.  A nd even to break this barrier, I was dependent on others to intertwine. My mind kept erecting walls with each bad experience.  And the impossibility of breaking this growing prison made me furious. Maybe my imagination or hopefulness, but the walls appeared transparent.  And the unbelievable things that might come my way were quite apparent. But my so-called well-wishers were bogging me down in the name of homeliness.  And dismantling my confidence, inculcating the fear of loneliness. For years I kept staring at the walls, hoping to me someone will seek out.  Gradually allowing myself to carve some windows to peek out. And through one of the windows, I felt the beach - humid and warm.  Along came a whisper, it's just a breeze outside not a storm. The storm was inside me, holding me back, keeping me trembling.  And just when that hit me, all walls came down crumbling. The windows w...

W hen a baby completes its time in the womb and is ready to step into the world, the umbilical cord is cut off. This makes it an individual entity, no longer attached to another individual through a cord.  Most of us, even in our adulthood are still tangled in a cord. The cord of comfort that keeps us wrapped around our traumas. The trauma that we sometimes use to feel better about ourselves. We stress too much on the feeling of being a survivor of the cruelty done by people who had power over us.  Not demeaning the severity of the suffering, but we need to realize an alarming fact. Even after the actual suffering is long over most of us keep wasting precious years of our lives reliving the trauma in our minds. We make our sufferings our only identity. Just like the cows ruminate - they swallow, un-swallow, re-chew, and re-swallow their food. In the same way, we keep chewing our cud, wallowing in every incident that affected us deeply.  We recreate those situations in our...

Most extroverts have transverted into introverts due to the forced 'WFH' in the pandemic. Work-life balance has been taken so seriously in the last couple of years, that we dread the idea of going back to the pre-pandemic full-time office structure. The comfort of WFH is disturbingly overwhelming! Most people are molded in this new structure of living the same day, every day!  One might think, what is the point of being alive if every day we are just doing the same things? Is it ok if we are neither satisfied with it nor looking forward to the next day? Living alone, away from the family, society, and the usual circle of the so-called 'people we know.' Some of us feel free.  We don't have to pretend or be afraid of judgment, we don't have to lie to save ourselves from anything or anyone. We don't have to go through the usual process of people controlling and manipulating (or punishing the untamable ones). Making us feel guilty, regretful, and confused about ...

A t happy times we are often surrounded by our folks, but the dark times will seldom witness the same. We think it's only 'me' facing the nemesis, but that's not true, each one of us is. And one has to face it bravely and emerge out of it as a winner. If not a winner, at least emerge as a fighter and rise above the storm! Umpteen stories have struck my ears recently about many of the people I know, some of them being my friends. Suddenly it seems like the world has turned upside down this particular year. Most of them are going through the most difficult phase of their lives. It's a life-changing period! One of the news made me rethink how crucial it is to not let people's criticism change your course of life. Rahul, who was about to get married in a month and shift his base to the US, ended his life. This left his parents unnerved as well as outraged as there was no apparent reason for such a drastic step.  Days later, his sister found out from his friends th...

I am grateful there are no foggy roads ahead of me, It feels euphoric to realize how far I have come!   I am happy that people taught me to curb my expectations, It feels insightful to learn the drawbacks of over-giving.   I am relieved that I can finally distinguish evil from angels, It feels majestic that I can see clearly now. I am ecstatic to work on my strengths and weaknesses, It feels wise to unlearn and let go of my preconceived notions.   I am so thankful to see my dark side fading with time, It feels responsible to add good habits every day.   I am glad that procrastination doesn't feel comfortable anymore, It feels enthusiastic to get things done before the deadlines.   I am enchanted to spectate my metamorphosis,  It feels heavenly to be reborn with each rising sun.   I am amused that I have started to understand the game, It feels safe that I know how to use my armor.   I am thrilled that I am so sure about my path, It feels powerful ...